Welcome. Prepare to have your brain boggled, bogged down, and bounced off walls. You might remember me saying we’d cover covenants later, right? Well, we’re sorta kinda doing that today…. Of course, we’re also going to be bouncing all over the damned place double-checking and confirming shit & shinolah. No, I don’t know what shinolah is. It’s a phrase my great-gramps used to use: shit & shinolah.
So, anyway, let’s first see what the first covenant was. God told Adam, “I’ll let you live here as long as you take care of stuff and don’t eat off that tree.” And until the dipshit ate off the tree, he got to live there. Once he broke the covenant by eating, he got his ass booted out, and his live-forever pass taken away, too. (And a few other things as punishment, but we aren’t getting into those right now.)
There were others, off and on, made with various patriarchs and extended to their families. More often than not, the descendents fucked up and broke the covenants. Most the time, this meant slavery until they came whimpering back begging forgiveness. Now, I want to point something out. Breaking a covenant back in the day? Most frequently referred to by a term we now pronounce “fornication”. Said term, incidentally, I did go online to look up. After visiting more sites than I care to remember, I basically concluded that it means either:
1) Breaking faith or covenant
2) Illicit sexual activity
Now, since illicit tends to mean illegal, fornication in the sexual sense means different things to different people, depending on their nationality, culture, tribe, hometown, etc. Keep this in mind for later.
Now, the main covenant everyone seems to think of when they thing of the Christian faith is the one all spelled out in the Old Testament through the prophets. God will send a Messiah, and incidentally, here is a list of rules to follow.
Now, we start getting to the sticky part. God promised said Messiah to the Jews, and gave them the laws to follow, got it? They broke the laws constantly (one could almost say consistently!) and begged forgiveness afterwards according to the required sacrifices required for the specific laws broken. So, eventually, God did as he promised and sent the prophesized Messiah to the Jews, and had him born into the family of David, also as promised. He fulfilled his end of the covenant.
Except… there was a leetle bit of a problem. The greater majority of the Jews - most specifically those in charge of the religious and political end of things - denied said fulfillment of said covenant, and did their level best to convince the people that the promised Messiah was just another wanna-be. They did a pretty damn good job, since there’s people today still convinced of that.
So, they broke their end of the covenant. Again. By denying God did what he said he would. And this time, they right royally pissed him off. He took the prezzie they didn’t want away, and offered it to everyone else instead. The only string attached? That those who accepted the gift accept that his son bloody well was too the promised Messiah sent to redeem the world from the multiple layers of cocked up fuck ups the antics of the descendents of his most aggravating creation had managed to compound.
Which, unsurprisingly, didn’t go over as awesomely with the Jews who had believed as it did with the Gentiles who were all for being granted grace, a free home, and an awesome eternal afterlife. Poor old Peter protested it muchly, since he’d been raised by Jewish law, which said it was JUST FOR THEM. It took 3 times (and a hell of a long prophetic dream followed by the visit of the Gentile representatives who HADN’T protested at all) before he realized he didn’t have a choice but to explain what Christ had taught him to the Gentile folk.
So, now we have all these non-Jews accepting Christ for who he really was, and getting the same gift as all the Jews who had been following these very strict religious laws their whole lives, for generations, to receive. Who can tell me what that equals? *waits* That’s right. A mess, and unhappy Jews going, “But, but but but!!!!!!!”
Which lead to a convention of the Jewish Christian leaders, and the conclusion that, no, the Gentiles were not required to follow Jewish law. However, they were asked to abstain from: 1) meat offered to idols, 2) blood, 3) things strangled, 4) fornication.
Point 1: Refrain from meat offered to idols. Like that doesn’t make perfect sense? Why would someone who has accepted the gift of mercy and eternal life from the God they have chosen to follow eat food meant for an idol? Back in the day, I have no doubt it was pretty damn easy to tell what meat had been offered to a idol. Most likely, this also applied to meat offered to other gods, as well.
In this day and age? I mock anyone who doesn’t kill their own food to be able to tell if it was offered to some idol or god before it hits their plate. Besides, if you consider how many people worship money (and how much meat costs!), who’s to say it isn’t ALL offered to the idol of money?
Did that make your brain hurt? Sorry….
Point 2: Refrain from blood. Jews had a thing about blood. Still do.
I don’t get this request, however. The blood of the Messiah was part of the final atoning and sacrifice, blood must be accepted. Now, as with the offering to idols, this also applies to stuff you eat. For the most part, eating and drinking blood (especially of the human variety) is rather frowned on for the most part in most cultures anyhow. For some cultures, however, it’s perfectly okay. Just don’t even get me started on red wings. There’s just a grossness factor there I don’t feel like dealing with. That’s personal prerogative, if it’s not dealt with culturally.
Point 3: Refrain from things strangled. Again, referring to stuff you eat. Tell me, do you have any idea how the non-plant form of you dinner was killed before it hit the processing slab? Yeah, me either. Good thing these were just requests, huh?
Point 4: Refrain from fornication. Which form of fornication, pray tell? The illicit sexual version, or the breaking of the faith version?
Considering the state of the world in that day, when pedastry was quite common and it wasn’t in the slightest bit uncommon for slaves to be used as sex toys, and where temples had paid prostitutes? Not to mention the hundreds of different cultural taboos and allowances in terms of sexual deviancy?
Yeah, my guess would be with the not breaking the faith version for sure and for sure - after all, if the Jews got the prezzie taken away for breaking faith, it wouldn’t do for it not to be taken away if the Gentiles decided they didn’t believe the Messiah was part and parcel of the prezzie, now, would it?
That they were hoping the Gentiles would also decide to follow their specific Mosaic laws concerning sex? I don’t doubt it a bit… but sorry, folks, they don’t actually apply.
In fact, let me really make your mind boggle and blow up - I’m not real sure they even apply to the Jews anymore.
‘kay, ready to try to help me figure this out?
First, Jesus says: “Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfill. For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled.”
IE: all the Mosaic laws and the prophesies that came before and after are in effect until the prophesies are fulfilled. Got that?
The prophesies were foretelling the coming of the Messiah, as well as his rejection and death. Still with me?
We’ve got Jesus now, obviously born, and in accordance with the appropriate prophesies. He gets very publicly rejected in favor of a murderer, and he gets crucified.
His last words? Those were, “It is finished.”
Which means all the prophesies have been fulfilled. So, that first part, the heaven and the earth passing…
Now, if you bop over to Revelations, we’re gonna look at the seals listed in Revelations.
First, he who was to go out conquering and to conquer. Well… Yeah. Adam got pitched out of the garden, and had to conquer the earth and reign over the animals to survive, so there’s that one. Even my 12 year old got that one without prompting.
The second seal was the taking of peace from the earth, and the start of killing. Cain killed Abel. Family harmony & peace on earth? Kaplooey. The kid got this one too.
Third, the guy with the balances, deciding costs. Trade and coinage. Again, the 12 year old needed no prompting to blurt out “MONEY!” as the answer.
Fourth, ¼ of the earth to be killed by the sword, hunger, beasts, or just in general. Know anyone who’s managed to avoid the Reaper? Me neither.
Fifth was those slain for the word of God, who were asked to rest until the rest of those to be killed for the same reason were killed. I figure they’re still waiting, given the state of the world today.
Now, in the sixth seal there’s mention of an earthquake, the sun going out and the moon turning to blood. Well, guess what? On the day of the crucifixion, there was an earthquake, and the sun went out. Between, what was it, the third and sixth hours of the day? No sun. Anywhere.
Now, according to the science research I did, after the Sun, it’s the moon, Venus, and Jupiter that are the brightest spots in the sky, with Mars following close behind. The moon, Venus, and Mars are bright because of the reflection of the sun. Jupiter is considered a “failed star”. So, you’ve got this gas giant with lots of red clouds all over it being the main light source in the sky. Said red-tinted light source is bouncing off Mars on its way to the moon. Mars is the Red Planet. What color does that make the moon, pray tell? Yeah, I color it red, too. So there you have the blood red moon.
Sixth seal also tells of the stars falling from the sky. What‘s a meteor shower, darlings? They do say it’s possible the mother of all meteors killed off most the dinos. Also with the heavens rolling up like a scroll. Not really sure what that’s supposed to look like, actually, but apparently goes with the mother of all earthquakes, moving all the mountains and islands from their places. Y’all heard of Pangea, the super-continent? How about Atlantis? I’m thinking it’s been and gone and done. Sixth seal is open and broken but for sure.
Feel free to discuss.